What Should You Buy With Your Tax Refund?

You did the paperwork, it was probably correct (Unless you’re a CPA, does anyone really feel confident filing their taxes?), and you’re waiting as patiently as possible for that sweet, sweet tax refund to hit your bank account.

But the question is keeping you up at night:

”What should I spend my tax return on?”

The average American will be getting around $2500 back this year. After about $10 worth of beer to celebrate making it through another fiscal year, you’re probably left with a bit of scratch to spend. According to USA Today, about 5% of us will splurge with our tax refunds, and we’re here to help you do it.

First and foremost—upgrade your sleep setup. Even if you bought a King-size Tuft & Needle mattress, a set of sheets, two pillows, and a protector, you’re still left with about a grand. You could put it in a savings account or maybe use the money to pay something off, or… you could treat yourself to something awesome.

Handmade European Bronze Sculpture Massive 24K Gold Plated Genuine Stallion Horse Figurine How massive is massive, you ask? About a square foot of real estate will be taken up by your new best friend. Maybe that sounds like the exact opposite of “massive” in your mind—but you have to consider the weight of the presence of this gilded Seabiscuit in your space.

An Actual Throne If you haven’t found yourself in need of a throne at least once, you’re clearly undervaluing yourself. Be the King, Queen, or Santa Claus of your dreams in the comfort of your own home. Bonus—velvet is back, baby! You’ll be both insanely regal and on trend for at least another few weeks.

An Apocalypse Kit Look, 2017 was rough for all of us. It might not be the worst idea to start prepping for the apocalypse while there’s time.

The True Mirror Have you ever gone to take a long, hard look in the mirror and realized that you’ll never actually be able to see a true reflection—not a flipped, mirror-image? Well now you can see the realest version of yourself thanks to angles and science—miracles that will allow you to fully judge yourself at 3AM after a glass, or two, of a nice Pinot Noir. Still won’t show you vampire reflections, though, so buyer beware.

An 8-Foot Gummy Python If you’re not immediately convinced that you need this in your life, the Amazon reviews should push you over the edge. Highlights include: “It was rather difficult to carry this on the train. You feel every single one of those 26 pounds. It was, however, a worthy endeavor; the snake has enough meat to satisfy an office for days, and the recipient was very excited. It is a worthy investment for snake lovers.” and “This thing hugs me more then my girlfriend!!!”